TOP 15 QUOTES BY PHYLLIS DILLER

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough. - Phyllis Diller

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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. - Phyllis Diller

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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. - Phyllis Diller

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I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?' - Phyllis Diller

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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation. - Phyllis Diller

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The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. - Phyllis Diller

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I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. - Phyllis Diller

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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day. - Phyllis Diller

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'? - Phyllis Diller

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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

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