"Why be serious? Life's too short for that!"
"Laughter is the best medicine – unless you're diabetic."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I'm not lazy, I'm in energy-saving mode."
"Common sense is like deodorant – the people who need it most never use it."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies."
"I'm not lazy; I'm in energy-saving mode."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."